I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
