i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
