i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
