what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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