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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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