What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
