Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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