What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
