I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
