just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
