i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
