Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
