Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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