Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
