It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
