garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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