the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
