I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
