she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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