dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
