Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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