im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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