the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude i'm inner monologue high
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
sarcasm needs its own font
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
