It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
