Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
