So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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