32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
