She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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