I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
