i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
