Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just had sex on a roof
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
