We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
