My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
