Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
