He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
