youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
