Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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