Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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