Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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