Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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