somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
