Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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