Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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