She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
