i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
