i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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