I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
