Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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