In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i have two assholes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
