You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
