I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
