Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dicks are not precious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
