matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
