He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
